For suicide survivors
“Why didn’t he tell me? Why did he kill himself? Why did he abandon me?
It is common for suicide survivors to feel shock, disbelief, and be occupied by the questions "why". We may have very mixed emotions, especially the feelings of guilt and remorse, anger, or fear. The social stigma attached to suicide is often a source of shame. The death becomes a secret and suicide survivors often find it difficult to share with others. Social supports become very limited.
Things I can do ......
- Allow ourselves to explore and search for the cause of suicide. It is a sense-making process which may help us to gradually recognize the fact of the death.
- Understand that suicide is a very complex issue with multiple causes. It involves different factors like personality and coping, physical and mental health, socio-economic factors, family, and other different stressors in life etc.
- When dealing with fear, we may first try to re-establish a sense of safety and security. Then we may slowly learn to overcome it by making small attempts to confront the source of fear.
- Learn positive and suitable ways to express strong feelings such as anger.
- We may disagree with the deceased’s choice, yet we may try to understand his/her suffering and limitations.
- Learn to accept life’s imperfections. Although we do not have answers to all questions, yet we can still try to live with them and move on with life.
For more information, please refer to the handbook on how to support the bereaved published by Suicide Prevention Services. (Chinese only)
https://www.spsbless.org.hk/publication/1
Death of a husband, wife or partner
Death of parents
Death of a child
Children who have lost a loved one
Death of a sibling
For suicide survivors
